So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
