I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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