I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
