i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
