If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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