I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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