White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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