she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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