do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
