Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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