i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
