Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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