just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize