Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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