Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
