This girl is more easily done than said...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's shark week go big or go home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
