I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
