so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
