I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
