I want to have your abortion
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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