How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
