I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
