How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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