I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
