i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I still have a little drunk in my system
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
