I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
