Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
