he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
