So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
