hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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