ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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