OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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