You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
