Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ugly people sure do ruin things
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
