i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
