Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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