I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
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I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
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Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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