hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize