you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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