Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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