I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
whose parrot is this?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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