ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
