I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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