Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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