Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize