Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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