Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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