She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
