I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
