What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
