so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
