she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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