I can tuck mytits in my pants
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
