wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
