What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
