i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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