Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize