At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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