Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
