best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
