You really coming over, don't trick.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
