Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
